Egg Donation - An Egg Donor's Story
There is a great shortage of egg donors
in the UK. A few years ago the law changed meaning that any child born
using donated gametes has the right to find out who their genetic
parent(s) are. Egg donation is therefore no longer anonymous.
For some reason this has led to a dramatic fall in altruistic donors,
with the majority of donors currently coming from egg-share
arrangements where women get reduced fees for their IVF in return for
sharing half their eggs extracted.
I wanted to write about my story to help other people
considering egg donation have some idea of what's involved. You can
skip to the happy ending by looking at the bottom of the page.
Why
Become an Egg Donor?
These are my reasons, they may seem strange, but every one us has
different reasons and motivations but these are mine (in this order):
- Sharing
the Luck - I feel really blessed to have two lovely children. I got
pregnant easily, had an easy pregancy and an uncomplicated delivery for
both children. I couldn't imagine life without my children and this
gives me some idea of how a childless couple must feel. I wanted to
share some of the luck I have had in life with those dealt a less
fortunate
hand in life than me.
- Selfish Genes
- Any reader of Dawkins will know how powerful the drive of ones genes
is to reproduce themselves as widely as possible. I feel that my time,
energy and resources are best spent on my two children and I don't want
any more. If I can get someone else to use their energy and resources
to perpetuate my genes then that has to be a good idea. It is a bit
like the cuckoo getting the reed warbler or dunnock to bring up its own
chick. Evolutionarily speaking, egg donation makes lots of sense.
- Feeling
Charitable - there is nothing like that warm glow of feeling good and
satisfied at doing something charitable and worthwhile. Egg donation is
a really special thing to do and the recipient will never know how to
thank you fully. If you don't have the money to give much to
charity, then egg donation is a really valuable contribution.
- Greatest
Good to the Greatest Number - I have lots of eggs that I don't need
anymore and there are lots of people who really need them. It seems
sensible to put them to use by someone who really wants them. It is the
best form of donation because you can give while you are living and get
satisfaction from it, rather than just being on the organ donor
register.
Finding a Recipient
You can contact your nearest fertility clinic (the
National Gamete Donation Trust has information about how to do this),
and offer to be an 'anonymous' donor. I put this in inverted
comments because any child born as a result of your donation has the
right to find out information about you. You are only anonymous during
the treatment and for a limited time.
I wanted to be sure that
my eggs were going to a couple who would be able to cope with a
potentially smart little kid. My worst fear was some young person
finding me in 18 years and saying that his life has been stultified and
unstimulating and he han't been encouraged to reach his full potential.
I set about trying to find a
potential
egg recipient living sufficiently close to Bourn Hall
(my nearest clinic). I ended up on the fertility
forum on the sofeminine.co.uk website.
I posted about myself but also responded to some else's post and
luckily got in touch with Claire (I have changed the receipient's name
to protect her identity and any child she conceives). Claire was very
open about herself and I directed her to my website and information
about me. I eventually plucked up courage to phone her and we had a
really encouraging chat. She was already registered at Bourn and
approached them saying she had found a 'known' donor. Bourn wanted to
be sure she knew what she was getting into and gave her a number of
issues to chat over with me. We had to agree what sort of contact we
would have in future and what contact I wanted with any child.
There were a lot of issues to chat through. I personally did not
to have contact with any child until they were 18 and made the choice
to find me as I felt this
would be in the best interest of the child.
Clare was happy to let me know how any child would get on and to send
photos occasionally. We agreed that Clare and I would probably keep in
touch by sending Christmas cards but otherwise stay out of each others
lives. Some weeks later
I
met up with Claire and her husband and I felt really positive that
these were a lovely couple who would make wonderful parents and I
really wanted to help them.
Am I a Suitable
Donor?
Bourn
initially invited me in for a blood test to check my levels of a
hormone called AMH. This is a fairly accurate measure of how fertile
you are. This came back fine so I then had a consultation with the
doctor who went through the whole procedure and what was involved.
There were a lot of forms to fill in, including one to be seen by any
child conceived, who will see this when they are 18 (how to do write a
good will message to an unborn teenager who shares half your genes??!!)
I also needed to have a session with the counsellor and go through a
lot of issues and to make sure I understood what I was doing.
I
needed to stop taking contraception and have a few normal cycles to so
that the clinic knew when I was likely to ovulate. Then there were lots
more blood tests to check for STDs and genetic and chormosomal
abnormailites. These took a few weeks to come back and it did seem to
take forever to get nowhere!
The Treatment
The
next stage is to sychronise your cycle with the recipient. I needed to
take the oral contraceptive pill for a month to make my cycles more
regular. Then your system needs to be downregulated. You take a nasal
spray twice a day for a few weeks at the end of which you go back into
the clinic for a vaginal scan and blood tests to check your system is
at baseline level. The nasal spray puts your body in a
pseudo-menaupausal state but luckily I didn't feel any ill effects.
Eventually
you are given your injection pen and the nurse shows you how to use it.
I had to inject myself every evening for 11 days (in addition to nasal
spray twice a day). This wasn't as painful as I had expected (for
anyone who has stabbed themselves with a sewing needle - it is less
painful than that). I did, however, feel very weepy at times and very
emotional. After 5 days I needed to gack to Bourn for another scan and
blood tests. Then I had to go back three more times every 2 or 3 days
for scans and blood tests, until my follicles were of a size to make
them big enough for egg extraction. I was then sent home with the final
trigger
injection. You have to take this at a very specific time
exactly 36 hours before your egg retrieval. The next day is a drug free
day and the following morning is egg collection day!
Injection Pen
Trigger
Injection
Egg Retrieval
After
a very early start I arrived at the nurses station and was shown to a
bed and given a hospital gown. They gave me injections of pethedine and
an anti-sickness drug and a supository of a pain relief drug. I was
feeling confident until wheeled into the operating theatre and it
looked very medical and I had a heart monitor going
'beep'! I had the egg extraction procedure under local anaesthetic.
They can't anaethatise your ovaries, so you still get some discomfort
and mild pain when they push the needle through the wall of the uterus
and into your ovaries. (If you need it, you can have gas and air).
Once the procedure was over and I was back lying normally
again on the table,
the word came from out the back that I had 12 eggs extracted. I was
very chuffed and suprised how quickly they could count them.
While
I was recovering in my bed in the ward (they like you to stay for an
hour or so to
recover after the procedure), I heard Clare's husband's name being
given and I nipped out to find that Clare and her husband had arrived
to
give the necesary semen sample. It was nice to see them both and Clare
had
been a bit worried about how I would be. We had been in touch regulalry
by e-mail but I had only met them once before, so I felt very
encouraged to see them too. Eventually it was time to go home, and that
was me all done.
The
Result of the Donation
If
I had donated anonymously, I would have to wait a year and call the
clinic to find out if there was a baby born and what gender it was.
However, as I know the recipient Clare
kept me in touch with how things were progressing (and I was really
keen to find out). Out of the 12 eggs
retrieved 10 were suitable to be injected
with sperm. 5 fertilised, 4 started to divide and 2 continued dividing
to reach the blastocycst stage at about 5 days old. These two
blastocysts were implanted into the recipient and two weeks after that
she found out they have resulted in a
pregnancy!! A few days after the egg collection day a huge basket of
fruit arrived with a bottle of wine and some chocolates from Clare and
her husband to say thank you. It was a complete suprise. I really
appreciated being thanked and it made me realise how important this
whole thing had been to Clare and her husband.
Progress report - Baby boy born at the end of April 2011
Clare kept me updated when she had her scans and chose not to find out
the sex of the baby beforehand. Her pregnancy went well and without
complications. She gave birth to a baby boy at the end of April 2011
and was kind enough to send some photos of the baby. He was a
really adorable little baby and after a few weeks she asked whether I
wanted to meet him (while acknowledging that I may not want to continue
to be involved in her family). I was really keen to meet the baby and
my two year old daughter and I went over to meet him when he was three
weeks old. Clare makes a wonderful mum and was (suprisingly) very calm
and relaxed about me holding her baby. I went home feeling very pleased
at having a small part to play in the creation of a new and happy
family (but glad it wasn't me having to face all those sleepless night
and nappies!!).
Further Progress Report
I underwent another cycle of egg donation with another couple who I
found on the internet site Pride Angel I also met up with beforehand. They had one
daughter of their own, but wanted a second baby and had had a number of
unsuccessful IVF cycles. We used the Herts & Essex Fertility Centre
for the treatment as the waiting list was shorter and it was closer to
the recipient couple to get to. Instead of down regulation nasal spray
I had one injection that lasted for up to 4 weeks. The egg collection
procedure was carried out under a much deeper level of sedation so I
didn't feel a thing, but it knocked me out for the whole day. Luckily
the second couple also became pregnant after implanting two 3-day old
embryos. She is having one baby which appears normal and healthy at
this early stage.
web @ clappsbaskets.co.uk - if you want to contact me.